Self-Inquiry Guide to the Eighth Fetter
1. Introduction
The eighth fetter is the illusion that, as we go through our daily life of frying pans and stop lights, there is something that distinguishes or differentiates all those things from who and what we are. It’s as if it’s not enough to simply recognize those items: we habitually go one step further and assume that we distinguish or differentiate them as being "out there" by which we are "in here". This extra step naturally partitions off “our” internal experience, and provides the basis for concluding that there is an “I” or “me”. Whatever it is that thus distinguishes or differentiates is not just something we identify with: it's something we identify as. While it is now clear that nothing exists the way we once thought it did, by which nothing separate nor interconnected, there is still one item left. The only item that can still be discerned is "me". I am: I exist.
The goal of inquiry is to get into the “gap” where it is convincing that there is and must be a distinguisher, differentiator or other faculty or quality in experience which separates "me" from all else, and look to see if it’s actually there. In other words, rather than looking for a “who”, it involves looking for a “what”. It is the decisive not-finding of it that allows this fetter or belief to be dispelled.
As stated in previous outlines, the removal of aspects of identity can have an unpredictable and even powerful effect on the way we manage trauma. The eighth fetter is the final and most fundamental such aspect, and once this fetter “breaks”, some people have experienced temporary but significant side effects as past trauma and other experiences come to the surface. Therefore, you should consider seeking professional counseling or other services prior to embarking on this next stage of inquiry.
2. Being “Me”
The only thing that seemingly exists any longer is… you! However, by now what “you” are is completely intangible, and it may seem as though nothing could possibly be behind or underneath that sense of identity.
A suggested starting point is to simply experience what it is like to be “I” or “me”, so you know if and when this sense of identity arises. As you do the following exercise, try not to think about what is happening or why. For example, don’t deny that the resonance with the term “I” or “me” is occurring, or try to convince yourself that you either exist or don’t exist. Just allow whatever sense of identity you currently have to be named and noticed.
Exercise A
Be seated in a quiet place, and allow the thoughts and images in your mind to quiet down.
Also, as you drop in each term, how does it seem you know what happens? Does it seem as though there is something like consciousness, awareness, knowing, presence or similar that notices what is happening? And however you describe what knows or notices, does it seem like something you have, or something you are?
Also please notice the degree to which there seems to be an “in here” aspect to experience, and thus an “out there” aspect as well. In particular, does “I” or “me” seem to point to something “in here”? Is there anywhere else it could be?
Please don’t move on until you have a good sense of what it is like to notice and experience this sense of “I” and/or “me”, and which term(s) of the four options listed above resonate most.
3. Triggering “Me”
Now that you have a sense of what the experience of ”I” and/or “me” is, you can watch it arise in response to simply noticing something in the room.
Exercise B
Please try this with several items in the room, and also experiment with simply turning towards another item rather than closing your eyes to “reset” your visual experience.
If the sense of “me” or “I” does not arise during the exercise, or if you want additional experience of this sense of identity arising, simply notice during daily life if and when it’s obvious that there is a “me” or “I”, and/or when it is obvious that there is a interior aspect to experience. For example, it may be that being startled, looking at a new email, or stubbing your toe will lead to at least a momentary sense of “me”, and thus an aspect or portion of experience that is “not me”.
As a result of the above exercise, you should have a good sense of how the sense of “I”/”me” can arise and fade, what the experience is like when it arises, and what sorts of events tend to trigger the “I”/”me” sense.
4. What Seems to Happen?
In response to initially recognizing something, whether using the exercises above or simply noticing the sense of “me” arising during the day, what seems to happen by which experience is partitioned between “me” and “not me”? In the first few milliseconds of recognizing an item in the room, what term seems to describe what happens? For example, there might seem to be:
As a result of whatever it seems to be, experience can take on the character of being inner, protected, controlled or owned.
What does it seem to be for you? To find out, please try this exercise:
Exercise C
It may also be possible during a normal day to notice when the flavor or taste of "me" arises, as if there is a subtle "me-ing", "I-ing" or "my-ing" occurring. If so, you can try to get a sense of the label or term that seems to best describe what exactly becomes active or instrumental in creating a sense of “me”, by which there seems to be an internal aspect to experience, or otherwise a difference between “me” and “not me”.
Don’t worry if you don’t select the “perfect” label: what seems to be operating or activating can change. Also, whatever label or term seems most accurate, it's not like whatever it is will show up on an x-ray. However, as the sense of "me" arises, and/or the sense of an inner experience, what label or term makes the most sense, and has the most resonance, by which you have your own portion of experience? Put another way, if it weren't for what seems to be this sort of thing, a table in the room and whatever thought you have about that table would be in the same place.
There can be a tendency to select a more general label for this, such as awareness, consciousness or presence, but these sorts of labels don’t fully describe “what happens” by which a “me” and “not me” aspect arises in experience. Thus, try to be specific as to what “it” does (e.g., it separates, it distinguishes, etc.) by which you then have your own portion of experience.
Please don’t move on until you have a specific label for what seems to activate or engage.
5. Finding and Working in the Gap
Now that you have chosen a descriptor of what seems to activate or engage to partition experience when you initially recognize something, the next step is to look for it. Again, this is not just something you have: it's something you are.
The intent is to find and work within the “gap” between (1) the initial recognition of an item and the onset of the partitioning, which may include a taste or flavor or “I” or “me”, and (2) fully concluding that there is an “I” or “me” in “this” part of experience. For example, if it seems as though you subtly step back from experience, the inquiry is done prior to that stepping back, looking for whatever it is (such as a "differentiator") that creates a place to step back into in the first place.
It is important to keep this looking impersonal. For example, if you look for the differentiator that separates me (in here) from the book (out there), there are now three different entities involved! Instead, the looking should be done before the sense of "me" and "in here" are fully established, in which case there is simply looking for the differentiator.
Main Looking Exercise
In this exercise, you are looking for the differentiator… with the differentiator. Thus, there may be something of a hall of mirrors or ping-pong effect, and perhaps an experiential wavering or fluttering of sorts. If so, try to relax into the looking process, and allow whatever perturbation to naturally fade away.
Also, there may well be an almost instant dissipation of the differentiation as soon as you look for the differentiator, and the incipient sense of “I” or “me” can seem to slip through your fingers. Please don't be discouraged if your working ground thus dissolves as soon as you try to engage with it. If/when that happens, just relax any sort of effort, close your eyes, and then open them up and try it again. This requires something of a light touch, that you'll pick up eventually.
Whether by closing your eyes or moving your gaze around the room to another item, create a new visual situation where an item is initially recognized, by which the differentiation process can once again start up and a new “gap” can be created.
Once you are familiar with looking in this way, you can simply sit and "take in" whatever sense experiences are happening (as a result of thinking, hearing, listening, etc.) and notice which are "taken in" and incorporated, as if they belong to you, and which are not or are otherwise subtly kept apart or separate, thus sorting experience into "me" and "not me".
Looking closely and carefully for the differentiator, filter, distinguisher, etc. that does that sorting, what do you find?
6. Things to Keep in Mind
This is very, very subtle, so don’t be discouraged if it takes a while to find the “gap” between the differentiation process arising and the full-on sense of “I” or “me”.
Experiment with what it takes to get the differentiation and partitioning process going - it may take more and more as you gain experience in this looking. If so, you might use a family photo or other piece of memorabilia that evokes the partitioning response. Also try to see if there are situations in daily life where the process occurs, and take the time to look in the “gap” if you are able to.
There may be a “holding pattern” where you repeatedly look for the differentiator or distinguisher and find nothing, but the “I”/”me” sense and the experience of interiority persist when not inquiring. If so:
7. A Simplified Approach
As described above, the illusion that there is some sort or separator, distinguisher, etc. leads to the belief that there is an interior aspect to experience, which then leads to the belief that there is someone that has and in fact is that inner experience. Rather than going back to the beginning of this and searching for the separator or distinguisher, some have successfully seen through this fetter by simply looking for the boundary or border of their (supposed) inner experience. If you see that there obviously is no boundary of border whatsoever, the belief in the "I" or "me" that is "in here" can fall.
For this approach, start with Exercise A as above, getting a very good sense of how "I" and/or "me" seem to be true, and how there does in fact seem to be an inner (and also outer) aspect to experience. Then, rather than continuing to Exercise B, simply look for the boundary or border where your inner experience ends and the outside world begins.
If the sense of there being an interior aspect falls away as a result of looking for its boundary, but the sense of there being an "I" or "me" nevertheless persists or otherwise comes back, this is another version of a "holding pattern". In that case, you can close your eyes and allow your mind to go quiet, in order to reset your experience. After a few moments, you can reengage with daily experience and allow the sense of there being an interior aspect to experience to reemerge, by which you can once again look for its boundary or border.
In this simplified approach, try not to think about what you are doing, or really about anything else. Just allow your daily mode of experience to naturally give rise to the sense that there is in fact an interior aspect to it, and as that sense arises, closely look for its boundary or border. If this approach isn't sufficient to dislodge the belief in "I and "me", please try the multi-step process described above.
8. Has the Belief Disappeared?
Possible questions to explore:
The eighth fetter is the illusion that, as we go through our daily life of frying pans and stop lights, there is something that distinguishes or differentiates all those things from who and what we are. It’s as if it’s not enough to simply recognize those items: we habitually go one step further and assume that we distinguish or differentiate them as being "out there" by which we are "in here". This extra step naturally partitions off “our” internal experience, and provides the basis for concluding that there is an “I” or “me”. Whatever it is that thus distinguishes or differentiates is not just something we identify with: it's something we identify as. While it is now clear that nothing exists the way we once thought it did, by which nothing separate nor interconnected, there is still one item left. The only item that can still be discerned is "me". I am: I exist.
The goal of inquiry is to get into the “gap” where it is convincing that there is and must be a distinguisher, differentiator or other faculty or quality in experience which separates "me" from all else, and look to see if it’s actually there. In other words, rather than looking for a “who”, it involves looking for a “what”. It is the decisive not-finding of it that allows this fetter or belief to be dispelled.
As stated in previous outlines, the removal of aspects of identity can have an unpredictable and even powerful effect on the way we manage trauma. The eighth fetter is the final and most fundamental such aspect, and once this fetter “breaks”, some people have experienced temporary but significant side effects as past trauma and other experiences come to the surface. Therefore, you should consider seeking professional counseling or other services prior to embarking on this next stage of inquiry.
2. Being “Me”
The only thing that seemingly exists any longer is… you! However, by now what “you” are is completely intangible, and it may seem as though nothing could possibly be behind or underneath that sense of identity.
A suggested starting point is to simply experience what it is like to be “I” or “me”, so you know if and when this sense of identity arises. As you do the following exercise, try not to think about what is happening or why. For example, don’t deny that the resonance with the term “I” or “me” is occurring, or try to convince yourself that you either exist or don’t exist. Just allow whatever sense of identity you currently have to be named and noticed.
Exercise A
Be seated in a quiet place, and allow the thoughts and images in your mind to quiet down.
- Silently drop in "I.... " a few times: what happens when you do that? Does that term seem to point to something, or at least seem to be a valid label? Is there a strong sense of “I”, or is there perhaps just a taste or flavor of it? Does something seem to answer, as if during roll call in school when someone’s name is called and they say “here”; if so, does it answer immediately, as if it were waiting for you to call it, or is there a time lag?
- Now try the above with the term “Me…". Is the experience of this term the same as or different from “I”, and if so, how?
- Next, silently drop in “I Am…” a few times: does that seem like a true statement? Do you tend to refer to a certain aspect of experience, such as sensations in a certain portion of your body, when you make that statement? Does something
- Finally, silently drop in “I Exist…” a few times. Is the experience of this statement the same as or different from just above with “I Am”? If so, how? Does one statement have more resonance than the other, or seem more obvious or true? Feel free to alternate between the two statements to see.
Also, as you drop in each term, how does it seem you know what happens? Does it seem as though there is something like consciousness, awareness, knowing, presence or similar that notices what is happening? And however you describe what knows or notices, does it seem like something you have, or something you are?
Also please notice the degree to which there seems to be an “in here” aspect to experience, and thus an “out there” aspect as well. In particular, does “I” or “me” seem to point to something “in here”? Is there anywhere else it could be?
Please don’t move on until you have a good sense of what it is like to notice and experience this sense of “I” and/or “me”, and which term(s) of the four options listed above resonate most.
3. Triggering “Me”
Now that you have a sense of what the experience of ”I” and/or “me” is, you can watch it arise in response to simply noticing something in the room.
Exercise B
- Sitting quietly, notice an item in the room, such as a table or a chair. Keeping your head and eyes in that position, close your eyes, and allow the mind to empty out of thoughts and images for a few moments.
- Open your eyes and look at the item once again, and notice what happens in the first few milliseconds. For example, it may start out as an image with gradations of color, and then a moment later it will be recognized as a "chair".
- Notice if and when a sense of “I” or “me” arises. For example, is it as soon as the image is recognized as that particular item, or shortly thereafter?
- Please notice if there are physical sensations associated that arise in those first few milliseconds, associated with the arising of the “I” or “me” sense. For example, it may seem as though there is a closing or tightening that occurs, or it may seem as though you are being gently pushed back or drawn forward.
- Does it seem as though there is now something of a partition to experience, by which there is a “me” portion and a “not me” portion? Does it feel as though you take a subtle step back from experience, into your portion? Does there seem to be both an inner and an outer aspect to experience?
- Does it feel like you are awareness, consciousness, one with everything, or presence? Is there a subtle sense of comfort, stability or reliability in affirming your existence?
- Now, close your eyes and allow all thoughts and images to again fade. What happens to the sense of “I” or “me”? What happens to the sense of there being an inner and outer aspect to experience?
Please try this with several items in the room, and also experiment with simply turning towards another item rather than closing your eyes to “reset” your visual experience.
If the sense of “me” or “I” does not arise during the exercise, or if you want additional experience of this sense of identity arising, simply notice during daily life if and when it’s obvious that there is a “me” or “I”, and/or when it is obvious that there is a interior aspect to experience. For example, it may be that being startled, looking at a new email, or stubbing your toe will lead to at least a momentary sense of “me”, and thus an aspect or portion of experience that is “not me”.
As a result of the above exercise, you should have a good sense of how the sense of “I”/”me” can arise and fade, what the experience is like when it arises, and what sorts of events tend to trigger the “I”/”me” sense.
4. What Seems to Happen?
In response to initially recognizing something, whether using the exercises above or simply noticing the sense of “me” arising during the day, what seems to happen by which experience is partitioned between “me” and “not me”? In the first few milliseconds of recognizing an item in the room, what term seems to describe what happens? For example, there might seem to be:
- a separator that carves out "my" portion of experience
- a membrane that separates inside from outside
- a sorting mechanism for “in here” versus “out there”
- a distinguisher, differentiator, divider or discriminator that notices and highlights that something has been recognized as what it is, and also that it is either “me” or "not me"
- a filter or screen that selectively sifts through experiences and isolates "me" from "not me"
- a lens that provides a certain perspective
As a result of whatever it seems to be, experience can take on the character of being inner, protected, controlled or owned.
What does it seem to be for you? To find out, please try this exercise:
Exercise C
- Sitting quietly, notice an item in the room, such as a chair.
- Keeping your head and eyes in that position, close your eyes, and allow the mind to empty out of thoughts and images for a few moments.
- Open your eyes and look at the item once again, and notice what happens in the first few milliseconds. For example, it may start out as an image with gradations of color, and then a moment later it will be recognized as a "chair".
- If and when the sense of “I” or “me” (and thus “not-I” or “not-me”) arises, and or the sense of there being an interior (and thus an exterior) aspect to experience, what seems to have done that? Is there a verb (differentiate, filter, sort, etc.) that seems to best apply? How is it that a portion of experience is now associated with "I" or "me", and a portion is not?
- Do this with several items in the room, to see what “it” seems to be.
It may also be possible during a normal day to notice when the flavor or taste of "me" arises, as if there is a subtle "me-ing", "I-ing" or "my-ing" occurring. If so, you can try to get a sense of the label or term that seems to best describe what exactly becomes active or instrumental in creating a sense of “me”, by which there seems to be an internal aspect to experience, or otherwise a difference between “me” and “not me”.
Don’t worry if you don’t select the “perfect” label: what seems to be operating or activating can change. Also, whatever label or term seems most accurate, it's not like whatever it is will show up on an x-ray. However, as the sense of "me" arises, and/or the sense of an inner experience, what label or term makes the most sense, and has the most resonance, by which you have your own portion of experience? Put another way, if it weren't for what seems to be this sort of thing, a table in the room and whatever thought you have about that table would be in the same place.
There can be a tendency to select a more general label for this, such as awareness, consciousness or presence, but these sorts of labels don’t fully describe “what happens” by which a “me” and “not me” aspect arises in experience. Thus, try to be specific as to what “it” does (e.g., it separates, it distinguishes, etc.) by which you then have your own portion of experience.
Please don’t move on until you have a specific label for what seems to activate or engage.
5. Finding and Working in the Gap
Now that you have chosen a descriptor of what seems to activate or engage to partition experience when you initially recognize something, the next step is to look for it. Again, this is not just something you have: it's something you are.
The intent is to find and work within the “gap” between (1) the initial recognition of an item and the onset of the partitioning, which may include a taste or flavor or “I” or “me”, and (2) fully concluding that there is an “I” or “me” in “this” part of experience. For example, if it seems as though you subtly step back from experience, the inquiry is done prior to that stepping back, looking for whatever it is (such as a "differentiator") that creates a place to step back into in the first place.
It is important to keep this looking impersonal. For example, if you look for the differentiator that separates me (in here) from the book (out there), there are now three different entities involved! Instead, the looking should be done before the sense of "me" and "in here" are fully established, in which case there is simply looking for the differentiator.
Main Looking Exercise
- Sitting quietly, cast your gaze around the room, and allow the recognition of this or that time to occur. It may help to silently intone the name of the item (for example, “chair”) to initialize the experience.
- As you recognize each new item, be sensitive to if and when the sense of “I”, “me”, interiority, separation, etc. starts to arise, by which experience starts to be partitioned. Again, it may only be the flavor or taste of “I” or “me”. Notice how the differentiator, distinguisher, filter, etc. seems to activate, by which experience starts to be sorted into “me” and “not me”.
- With each item recognized, as soon as the partitioning of experience starts up, shift your attention away from the item and look inward for what seems to have been activated. For example, search for the “differentiator” that seems to sort experience into “me” and “not me”. You can try doing this with your eyes open or shut.
In this exercise, you are looking for the differentiator… with the differentiator. Thus, there may be something of a hall of mirrors or ping-pong effect, and perhaps an experiential wavering or fluttering of sorts. If so, try to relax into the looking process, and allow whatever perturbation to naturally fade away.
Also, there may well be an almost instant dissipation of the differentiation as soon as you look for the differentiator, and the incipient sense of “I” or “me” can seem to slip through your fingers. Please don't be discouraged if your working ground thus dissolves as soon as you try to engage with it. If/when that happens, just relax any sort of effort, close your eyes, and then open them up and try it again. This requires something of a light touch, that you'll pick up eventually.
Whether by closing your eyes or moving your gaze around the room to another item, create a new visual situation where an item is initially recognized, by which the differentiation process can once again start up and a new “gap” can be created.
Once you are familiar with looking in this way, you can simply sit and "take in" whatever sense experiences are happening (as a result of thinking, hearing, listening, etc.) and notice which are "taken in" and incorporated, as if they belong to you, and which are not or are otherwise subtly kept apart or separate, thus sorting experience into "me" and "not me".
Looking closely and carefully for the differentiator, filter, distinguisher, etc. that does that sorting, what do you find?
6. Things to Keep in Mind
This is very, very subtle, so don’t be discouraged if it takes a while to find the “gap” between the differentiation process arising and the full-on sense of “I” or “me”.
Experiment with what it takes to get the differentiation and partitioning process going - it may take more and more as you gain experience in this looking. If so, you might use a family photo or other piece of memorabilia that evokes the partitioning response. Also try to see if there are situations in daily life where the process occurs, and take the time to look in the “gap” if you are able to.
There may be a “holding pattern” where you repeatedly look for the differentiator or distinguisher and find nothing, but the “I”/”me” sense and the experience of interiority persist when not inquiring. If so:
- Try to keep the looking impersonal: instead of "me" looking for anything, allow it to be simply "looking". It might help to silently drop in "simply looking... simply looking..." now and again, to keep it more impersonal.
- Make sure you aren’t overdoing it - take some breaks so you don’t get desensitized to the inquiry.
- You can silently affirm “Wow, there’s nothing here”, as long as it’s an experientially true fact rather than being a conceptual inference or conclusion.
- If there is a lingering sense of "I"/"me", silently drop on "that's me!" and see where your attention goes. Do you find anything?
- If it feels like a letting-go must occur, what is letting go of what? Can you find those two "whats"?
- Make sure you aren’t deconstructing experience, such as in “direct experience”, by which you don’t even recognize the item out in the room or that there is now an interior aspect to experience.
- Make sure there is no conceptual content/thinking happening, such as a narrative trying to describe and explain what is happening.
- Watch out for nihilism, fear etc. as your sense of “me” starts to wobble. This is normal, though can be unsettling, and may subconsciously deter you from looking deeply enough.
- Health warning: if you have any history of trauma, it can begin to surface during this inquiry, or perhaps there can be a general sense of feeling destabilized. It may in fact be a good idea to pause the whole inquiry process and seek professional help, rather than attempting to press on.
7. A Simplified Approach
As described above, the illusion that there is some sort or separator, distinguisher, etc. leads to the belief that there is an interior aspect to experience, which then leads to the belief that there is someone that has and in fact is that inner experience. Rather than going back to the beginning of this and searching for the separator or distinguisher, some have successfully seen through this fetter by simply looking for the boundary or border of their (supposed) inner experience. If you see that there obviously is no boundary of border whatsoever, the belief in the "I" or "me" that is "in here" can fall.
For this approach, start with Exercise A as above, getting a very good sense of how "I" and/or "me" seem to be true, and how there does in fact seem to be an inner (and also outer) aspect to experience. Then, rather than continuing to Exercise B, simply look for the boundary or border where your inner experience ends and the outside world begins.
If the sense of there being an interior aspect falls away as a result of looking for its boundary, but the sense of there being an "I" or "me" nevertheless persists or otherwise comes back, this is another version of a "holding pattern". In that case, you can close your eyes and allow your mind to go quiet, in order to reset your experience. After a few moments, you can reengage with daily experience and allow the sense of there being an interior aspect to experience to reemerge, by which you can once again look for its boundary or border.
In this simplified approach, try not to think about what you are doing, or really about anything else. Just allow your daily mode of experience to naturally give rise to the sense that there is in fact an interior aspect to it, and as that sense arises, closely look for its boundary or border. If this approach isn't sufficient to dislodge the belief in "I and "me", please try the multi-step process described above.
8. Has the Belief Disappeared?
Possible questions to explore:
- What happens now when you silently drop in "me... me..." - what is the experience of that? What sort of response is there?
- When you do Exercise B above, what happens (or doesn't happen) in terms of experience starting to partition?
- As you go through your day, is there any sense of an interiority to experience? Is there any sense of "in here" versus "out there"?
- Please sit down to meditate, or otherwise look introspectively - your choice as to what sort of meditation it might be. What is the experience of that introspection, especially compared to several weeks ago?